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Summer 2016 is off and running!

07/11/2016 12:18 PM

Week one of our Summer 2016 is in the books and what a great start to the season! Looks like an extremely tight competition not only for the Championship but GM and Rookies of the year as well with an impressive display by many of the new players….now onto the action:
Season kicked off with preseason favorite Nets taking on the reloaded Knicks. Knicks gave them all they could handle but the Nets do go onto a ten point victory. Newcomer “I will slam it over your backs” Dax leads the way with 19 and gets himself into the conversation of rookie of the year and mvp. Kareem Callow takes the night off from the snoozefest that is softball to play some hoops and chips in a workmanlike 15, while “take it to the hole” Spalliero adds a dozen and Pump Fake Palmer with 11 round out the leading Nets scorers. In the losing effort “Nobody Shoots it Betta” Kaseta scores a game high 20 while the other half of the usual Mike & Mike show, Q Ball only scores 9 this week and Captain Cape Crusader drains five threes but it was not enough…..
Opening night’s middle game pitted the Runnin’ Relics against the Hawks. For the Hawks it was the first time for these guys playing together and they gave a great effort but the Relics do prevail by 7- as the team chemistry builds they look to have a bright future. Relics were led by “I almost never miss” Chris with 14, Diamond Diamante with 13 and “I got skills, not Luck” Hnatiuk with 11. For the Hawks, “Air it Out” Arnold hits five triples to score 15 to lead the way. “Built like a brick Sh*#house” Eckhouse had a powerful second half scoring 9 and 13 overall and enters the conversation of rookie of the year with his all around play and effort.
Opening night finale was a great game between teams with the early favorites for GM of the year with some fantastic high priced free agent acquisitions, Warriors v Supersonics. Was a very close battle all game long and not sure if it was great defense or inept offenses but the Warriors get the low scoring victory, 43-38. Dr. Dunkman leads the way with 12 followed by “Drain Em” Davis with 10….but the bigger contribution by Dr Dunkman was as GM and his recruit of big man Stretch Kandrach finally giving the Warriors a presence in the middle after four seasons of playing small ball. On the losing side GM “Smooth as Nutella” Ramella scores 17, and in very limited minutes 9 ft tall “Scotter the Swatter” blocks fifteen shots and scores ten. When Layup Lereah returns from ice fishing combined with strong point guard play by “I never double dribble” Dabby this is a well rounded group and they will be serious contenders.
Thursday night opener had the defending champion Spurs taking on a pesky group of Old Dawgs with the biggest question being how would the Spurs play without the inspiring words of Father Phil all season and the absence of Killer Kowalski in this game. At halftime these questions were still not answered as this game was all tied up at 27. I cannot confirm but rumor has it that Father Phil Skyped in at halftime to give a speech and this catapulted the Spurs to an inspiring second half and seven point victory. Without Killer in the house Dr Jay led the way with a spectacular 27 point performance, Hercules Hughes scores 9 while “Reach In” Ratco has his usual 14 steals and actually scores a career high 9 points. Solid first half for the Dawgs but no bite in the second when they needed it the most. Rough first night back for the X Factor as he turns into the T Factor and gets the season’s first technical foul…..odds on favorite for this, Whiney Piney, was on hand waiting for next game and witnessed this shocking event and had to be consoled by his teammates just like Ronaldo yesterday. Hawks scoring was led by another rookie of the year candidate Pick & Pop Panico with 14 followed by T Factor and Piazza Delivery Man with 10 apiece.
Thursday middle game had the perennial bridesmade Rockets taking on the Timberwolves. Timbers missing some key components and Rockets explode to an easy W to open the season. Viagra Vignola pops up to lead the scoring with 18! Big Motor Voter with 15, Hail Mary Hilowitz with 14 and no this is not a misprint Sly Fox actually scores a ten spot. Still visibly shaken by not getting the season’s first technical, Whiney Piney sulks on the bench for most of the game while adding almost nothing, four points……..but this was four more than “Off the Schneid”. Tough opener for the Timbers who were led by Lucky Leib with 18, Grass is always Greener with 10, Bubbly Seltzer Zeltser with 9 and a career high for Neon Leon with 6
Week one finale matched up those enigmatic veteran Cavs against the stumblin bumbling vodkas . Was a great game that could have gone either way with the Cavs holding a two point advantage at intermission, but the vodkas pour it on in the second half and win 65-56. As usual Vodkas are led by Curry Cardullo with two dozen, followed by newcomer Ballin’ Billy with 13. Cavs were led early and often by Rookie of the year favorite Ray “damn right I can play” Convey with 34 followed by….not much….9:30 games must be too late for this veteran crew so watch out when they play earlier!
Hope everyone enjoyed the first week of the Summer season! Up to date standings, schedule and rosters are on and good luck to all this week!

Week 10

05/31/2016 11:31 PM

Regular season, Playoff first round and one quarterfinal are now complete…..and yes it is true the Thunder roared loud and clear and made the Wizards disappear!
Reminder that no games this week due to lack of HS gym availability – so we have the remainder of the elite eight doing battle on Wednesday June 8 the semis on Thursday June 9 and the World Championship of Men’s Basketball will be on June 15…..I highly recommend getting your tickets early and not wait to pay StubHub prices
Registration is now open for the Summer Season at – I do hope everyone is enjoying the league and will be continuing to participate. As previously mentioned there is an option for whole team registration, any questions about that or anything else please don’t hesitate to ask
Now back to the week 10 action….Vodkas and Cavs squared off in the opener to finish up their regular season and it was all Vodka straight up from start to finish as they easily handle the Cavs by double digits. Curry Cardullo had a very efficient evening hitting six three balls and finishing with 20 followed by Energizer Bunny Boris who was bouncing all over the court and scored a career high 15! Cavs only had five and only positive I can find from their performance is that everyone scored at least one point
Final regular season game for the Spring pitted the Warriors against the Hornets in a matchup with critical playoff seedings on the line. Warriors come out battle ready and take a four point halftime lead but that is why we play two halves and scoring only 13 points in that second half is not going to cut it especially when the Hornets’ Sean Don’t Doubt My Game Dunphy equals that 13 himself in the second half and goes off for a 20 spot in the game as the Hornets win by 9. Wearriors finish up a disappointing season as the 10 seed.
First playoff game was next with the winless Thunder taking on the #6 Wizards and as previously mentioned the Thunder after practicing seven days straight pull off the upset of the century! Not sure if it was great defense or complete offensive ineptitude but the final score was 40-34….Wizards were seen in the parking lot after burning their jerseys and offensive playbook. Was a very balanced attack they must have worked on at all their practices as seven players score at least two with leading scorer James Harden’s twin scoring 10. Magicless Wizards were led by I have the best first name in this damn league Adam Englander with 11
Thursday opened up with the 7 – 10 matchup of the Warriors and Cavs, it was not the prettiest of games but the Cavs do get the W to move into the Elite Eight. Extremely balanced attack by the Cavs with all six players present scoring 5+ with IronMan leading the way with a very solid 19 followed by Ian Retes of Sunshine with a dozen and Dennis Rodman Pearlman who is more know for his rebounding actually scoring a dozen also. Dr. Dunkman tries to put the Warriors on his back and carry them to victory with an unbelievable effort of 32 in the loss and Mr Rogers neighborhood adds 16, 14 of them in the second half. An unfortunate side note from this game was an injury to fan favorite Big Mac Attack….best wishes for a speedy recovery
Thursday’s middle game was the first quarterfinal featuring the 4 – 5 matchup of the Vodkas and the Revenge Tour…..very tough draw for the Tour as the Vodkas have the Tonic for victory and end the Revenge’s Dream of a championship. Wine beats Whine as Anthony Gallo Merlot outscores the Whiney One 13 – 9 to lead the way along with Eugene The Scoring Machine also adding 13 while Curry Cardullo had an off night and only scored 11. The Revengers were done in by a goose egg in the second half by Diamond in the Rough Diamante and the Whiney One sitting out the last six minutes with what has been widely reported as menstrual cramps.
Week 10 finale was the highly anticipated 8-9 matchup and those Hornets keep buzzing along as they cruise to victory over a depleted Dawg Pound. Very rough first half for those Dawgs as they could not get unleashed and score only 12 while those Hornets put up 33. Props to those Dawgs - despite having no subs and this huge early deficit they never ever gave up and won the second half to 25-17 but unfortunately for them we do count both halves combined. The Grass is always Greener has regained his scoring touch and leads the way with 15 followed by I am Da Man Dunphy with another solid effort of 13. Hoops Hynes gives every ounce of effort possible for those Dawgs and scores 15
June 8th matchups are as follows:
7:30 Spurs vs. Hornets
8:30 Rockets vs. Cavs
9:30 Knicks vs. Thunder
June 9th semis will be:
7:30 Rockets/Cavs vs. Knicks/Thunder
8:30 Spurs/Hornets vs. Vodkas
Good luck to all and reminder to sign up for Summer season!!!

Week * News & Notes

05/17/2016 07:36 PM

Summer registration is not available yet as I am discussing with township pricing proposal to be able to register as a team for the Summer season only. I realize Summer is vacation time and people will no doubt miss multiple games so want to be as fair as possible to everyone with fees. My proposal is to allow teams to register for $1100 and then submit a roster to me for approval with a maximum of 12 players – approval process will be to ensure the integrity of the league and fair competition so teams don’t just add superstars that all of a sudden just show up at playoff time. We will certainly have our normal individual registration available but for those that do choose this option, assuming I get it worked out, each team will have to have one person make the full payment and then deal with collecting from their players and also figuring out who and how many will attend each game.
Please double check your team’s schedule on as there was a mistake in original Excel version I sent out that was corrected awhile ago. Also please note that there are no games on June 1 or 2 due to the HS gym not being available.
Week 8 is now in the books and only two playoff seeds have been clinched, but more on that shortly….week 8 opener had the Revenge tour lay an egg and lose to the previously slumping Cavs. Cavs were led by Richard Scoring to me is as easy as A B C Lee with 20 followed by a well balanced team effort with 6 guys scoring 4 or more plus Big Mac Attack equaling his career low that he set in third grade by scoring a whopping single point. Revengers were led by Stevie on The Mark with a dozen – Whiney Piney’s mouth and scoring were no-shows this week as he does not add to his league leading technical foul count and scores a measly five points including an unbelievable 1 for 4 from the line, I have seen blind od ladies in the local church league shoot better.
The second half of Wednesday’s doubleheader had the Hornets keep buzzing as they quiet the Thunder with a workmanlike double digit victory. Officer Sharpshooter leads the way with 20 followed by a group of 4 with 5+ and then The Grass is Always Greener settling into his role as a non-scorer equals Big Mac Attack’s single point total.
I believe the Thunder stayed in the gym all night Wednesday practicing as they show up for the Thursday opener with their games faces on and ready to do battle and get win #1……..was looking good for 39:54 but unfortunately for them we do play 40:00. David Piazza Delivery Man delivers right on time and banks in the game winner with 6 seconds remaining to keep the Thunder winless streak alive and give those Old Dawgs a 42-41 victory. Old Dawgs were led by the Holmdel connection of X Factor Xenakis scoring 18 and Hoops Hynes with 11. The herculean effort by the Thunder was not led this week by Harden’s twin bit instead by Jeff A Win We Need Cagide with 10 followed by James Every Call is a Bad Call Breyburg with 9 points combined with 87 complaints to the refs.
Thursday middle game was another one of those tale of two halves games with the Wizards using smoke and mirrors to lead at halftime by 4 and then proceed to lose by 14 as the Knicks figure out the scret to the Wizards tricks. Knicks were led again by Nobody shoots it Betta Kasetta scoring 13 in the dominant second half and 15 overall, Bad Ass Boris adds 13, The Caped One has a down night with only 9 and Full Armour Fallon follows up his career high last week with a big round goose egg – but his defense and tongue wagging are definitely fan favorites. Layup Lereah leads the Wizards with 14, all in the first half as he was on fire – not sure why the halftime speech focused on not getting him the ball anymore but what do I know….
Week 8 finale was billed as the game of the week and although it did provide for much excitement the crowd never felt like the Spurs victorious result was ever in doubt. Spurs come out fired up and take an early double digit lead but those wily veteran Rockets scratch and claw their way back and only trail by three at the half. Both teams fought hard and seemed to always match scoring possessions with the Spurs never relinquishing the lead and do earn the wire to wire victory and clinch the #1 seed as the Rockets lose back to back games for the first time this century. Spurs were led by Dr. Jay with 24 followed by half a Terror Tanzosh(30 lbs have melted away) with 16 and Killer Kowalski with 15 including 12 in the second half. Further evidence that the Spurs are clicking on all cylinders is that “Floppin Frank failed to fall to the floor at all” for the first time all season….say that five times fast! Rickety Rockets were led again by Big Motor Voter with 20, followed by What’s Up Doc with an inspired 18 after last week’s malpractice performance, and Off the Schneid with a dozen…..if the Rockets lose three in a row rumor has it that GM Fox will be forced out and ownership will be demanding that the Whiney One be traded for at all costs
Quick look at the playoff picture has only two seedings clinched, the 1 & the 11 go to the Spurs and Thunder - I will let you figure out which is which. Only other item clinched is a first round bye for the Knicks as they will be the 2 with a victory or a Rockets loss or the 3 if they lose and Rockets win out. Rockettes can be as high as the 2 or as low as the 8. Vodkas, Revengers and Wizards can all be from the 3 down to the 7. The enigmatic Cavs can be as high as the 3 or crash all the way to the 10. Horents will fall between the 4 and the 10 while the Dawgs and Wearriors rest comfortably near the bottom and will both be between 7 – 10………….good luck to all this week!

Week 7 News, Notes and Upset City!

05/10/2016 10:19 PM

Before we get to the week 7 action, Slam Dunk Sports is very glad to announce that plans for a Summer season have been agreed upon with the Township - hopefully everyone is enjoying the league and will continue to play. One important note on the Summer season is that no schools are open in the Summer so the league will be held in the Marlboro Recreation Center - as soon as registration is setup on website I will let you know.... Week 7 opened with the Warriors crashing back to reality after their upset victory last week as the Knicks cruise to a double digit victory. Nobody shoots it Betta Kaseta goes off for the 19 in the second half and 25 overall to lead the Knicks followed by a dozen for Captain Cape Crusader, 11 for Q Ball, 10 for Bad Ass Boris and a career high 4 points for the inspirational leader of the squad, Full Body Armor Fallon . The Wearriors were led by Dr Dunkman with 18 folowed by the J & J show with 12 apiece.
Wednesday's middle game was the first surprise of the week with the Old Dawgs putting the Cavs on a leash and whipping them by 18. X Factor Xenakis leads the Dawgs with 24 followed by Magical Messina draining five 3's and a total of 17 and Draino Sano with 13. Cavs were led by Iron Man with 17 but 15 were in the first half....can the Iron Man's age and gruelling schedule be finally catching up with him? we say no way but we will see how he bounces back this week...
Wednesday's finale was a snoozefest as the Spurs easily handle the Thunderless......score keeper fell asleep so there are no stats
Thursday's opener had the Dawgs looking to pull off two upsets in one week....but it was not meant to be as the Wizards banish them to the doghouse and win handily. Smooth as Nutella Ramella scores the games first 11 points and he finishes with a workmanlike 22 followed by Layup Lereah with 13 and ISport Ian with a career high 11 for the victorious bright spots for those Dawgs as the team combines for a disappointing 43 total
At similar odds as Leicester City we had the Hornets, with only five guys, taking on the Rockets in the middle Thursday game and just like those Foxes of Leicester City the Hornets shock the world and pull off the biggest upset in Marlboro Men's Basketball History! Big games for all five Hornets as they score 71 team points - defensiveless coordinator Voter was rumored to be dismissed from that role immediately after the game. Officer Sharpshooter Schubert goes postal on the Rockets and explodes for 29 including a perfect 8 for 8 from the line with the last two coming after the play of the game when he grabbed the offensive rebound after his teammate's missed free throw as the Rockets squander their comeback attempt. Captain Crunch Kreisler scores a career high 15, although we will not mention his 2 for 8 from the line - Similary Kick Ass Kocun scores a career high 11, but we will not mention his 0 for 4 from the line. Did Down Deep Dunphy chips in 11 and The Grass is Always Greener tosses in 9 to help complete the upset special. Big Motor Voter says who needs defense when I can pour in 30.....but that recipe did not work this week. Tough shooting night for Hail Mary Hilowitz scoring 6 and a career low for What's Up Doc with only 2. Betting tip for week 8: Rockets have never lost two in a row.
Week 7 finale was billed as the game of the week........but the editorial staff was wrong and it turned out to be a Happy Hour celebration for the Vodkas as they surprisingly handle the Revenge Tour by ten scoring an embarassing 36 total points. As usual Vodka's were led by Curry Cardullo with 23 followed by Eugene the shooting machine with 12. Rough night for all the Revengers especially the Whiney One as his point total equals his technical foul total, 6.......
Week 8 looks like alot of competative battles including what could be the Thunder's first victory and then highlighted by the Spurs v Rockets, which could end up being the one seed tiebreaker......good luck to all!

Week 6 News, Notes and a No-Show Whiney One

05/03/2016 12:41 PM

Week 6 is now in the books and we head in to the final third of the season with all teams looking to jockey for playoff positioning and get on a roll...
In the week 6 opener the Spurs continue to stamp themselves as the team to beat - I did not get the same odds as Leicester City but did place a nice wager on them this preseason to win it all. The J & J Show lead the way for the Spurs with Jimmy & Jay scoring 36 of the team's 45 as they put the Vodkas on the rocks and win by ten.
I was not there to witness it but my score sheet says the Warriors actually win the Wednesday middle game - it is either a misprint or there were some bribes going on. Not to be outdone by the J & J show in game one we had the J & J show part two as JP and Jay Power Fowler are a force to be reckoned with combining for 31and propel the Wearriors to a shocking upset of the Cavs! The Cavs were led by the ageless IronMan O'Handley with 17 but it was clearly a pathetic performance from the foul line that did them in, 5 for 15 in the second half and 7 for 18 overall is not going to get it done - very similar to last season's foul shooting woes that cost them a berth in the finals.
Tough outing in the Wednesday finale for those Old Dawgs as a red hot Captain Cape Crusader Robin lights it up with 27 and almost beats the Dawgs on his own - Q Ball adds 14 including 5 of 6 from the line and has offered to run some foul shooting clinics for those Cavs. Hoops Hynes scores 17 in the loss but that was nowhere near enough...
The Thursday opener had the makings of a great one with the Wizards taking on the Spurs and it was a very close game for awhile until the Spurs roll late and win by 11. Spurs were clinging to a two point half time advantage and it stayed around there for a bit of the second half but then Killer Kowalski says enough is enough and goes off for 17 in the second half and 25 overall, Terror Tanzosh with 14 and Dr. Jay with 12 rounds out their scoring. Fairly balanced attack by the Wizards led by Eazy E with 13 - Coach Bubbly Seltzer Zeltser goes completely flat this week with only 3 points though.
Looked like a mismatch on paper but the Hornets vs. the Revenge Tour turns out to be the game of the week! Hornets come out buzzing and lead by 8 at the half, but the Piney's scratch and claw their way back with some second half defensive adjustments and Downtown Diego draining three threes to send this one into OT! In the extra session both teams score two baskets....but the Hornets were 2's while the Piney's are three's so they complete the comeback and win 51-49 - Todd Gunner Gunn hits the game winner after a previously verrrry quiet game. As usual the Revenge tour was led by Diamond Diamante with 23, followed by Diego with a career high 15.....the Whiney one was a no-show after his hair got soaked at his son's soccer tryouts and had to go home dry off and cuddle up to the fireplace with a cup of warm milk. Hornets were led by Foul KIng Slofkiss who did not foul out two weeks in a row - scored 13 overall but was too busy counting his points at halftime where he had 11 so had a paltry pair in the critical second half.
In the week 6 finale the Rockets blast out early and often to quiet the Thunder and roll to an easy w. Big Motor Voder leads the Rockets with 18 but the soccer fans were saying he was offsides on at least half of them as his defense was resting at home with Piney, whose replacement tosses in 16 himself and Invigorated Vignola finds the fountain of youth and was hustling out there like a 20 year old adding a very respectable 13. Rockets also go 9 for 12 from the free through line but have made it very clear they will absolutely not help out and run any clinics for those Cavs. James Hardens twin was again the lone bright spot for the Thunderless hitting five three's and 18 overall.
Week 7 game of the week looks like the weekly finale with the Revenge Tour taking on the stumbling, bumbling Vodkas.....good luck to all!

Halfway Home!

04/26/2016 11:03 PM

We are halfway through the regular season and we have 7 teams within a game of first place.....and four that are battling for the basement!
In week five's opening game the Hornets finally get themselves into the win column as they easily handle the short-handed Dawgs. Officer Sharpshooter and The Grass is always Greener bounce back from some recent poor performances and score 14 and 12 respectively to lead the way - Ray's Brother Jay Romano goes for 18 in the defeat.
Wednesday's middle game had the Vodka's pour it on over the hapless Warriors, Curry Cardullo leads the way with 20 and everyone else chips in with at least five...yes even Felix the Cat.
In the Wednesday nightcap the Thunder sleepwalk early and find themselves down 14 at the half - they give it their all in the second half but just not quite enough as they remain the league's only winless team. Q Ball leads the Knicks to victory scoring 30 including 6 three balls followed by Captain Cape Crusader with a solid 16 - James Hardens' twin also goes for 16 on the losing side.
In Thursday's opener the Wearriors actually show up to play and give the fist place Rockets a real battle as they try to end their losing streak but those savvy veteran Rockets pull out the W by 5. What's Up Doc returns after missing last week's beat down to lead the Rockets with 20. Warriors were led by Power Fowler with 19 and Dr. Dunkman another strong effort with 18.
Thursday's middle game was billed as the game of the week and a possible preview of the Championship matchup but the Revenge crew shit the bed and lose by double digits to the Spurz - they now get the Z since they are officially the SlamDunkSportz pick to win it all. Killer Kowalski lights it up with 21 for the Spurz while the Whiney One goes for a dozen in the loss.
You might say we saved the best for last as the week 5 finale turns out to be the game of the week and this season's first OT game. The Wizards seem to have the game well in hand leading by double digits most of the night as the Cavs could not hit the side of a barn door....but the Cavs make a late run thanks to some defensive adjustments and then highlighted by Big Mac Attack's long range three pointer as the buzzer sounded, replay did confirm it was off in time. So we head to OT with the Wizards reeling and on their heels but Calm Coach Z gets his team to regroup and then like the seasoned professional he is drains a three ball with five seconds left to pull a rabbit out of a hat and give the Wizards the win!
Week six action is highlighted by those Spurz as it is their turn for two games and both should be great games as they take on the Vodka's and the Wizards.....good luck to all!

Week 4 News, Notes and Revenge is oh so sweet

04/18/2016 04:14 PM

Week 4 opened up with the Thunder providing no boom as they sleepwalk through the first half scoring only 14 which put them in an 18 point hole for the second half. On the bright side they only lost the second half by 1! Bright spots for the Thunderless were James Hardens' twin with 16 points and Dikembe Mutumbo Ginese with 27 blocked shots. On the winning side everyone on the roster get in on the scoring with at least 3 each and were inspired by the return of the league's all-time leading rebounder Dennis Rodman Pearlman.
Wednesday's middle game was closer than the final score but the Vodka's stumble out of the gate and actually score lower than the Thunder in their first half with an incredulous total of 11 - GM Felix says he is bringing a breathalyzer to all games from now on to test his players. The Vodka's do make a game of it in the second half closing to within 3 led by Lightning Lalic but the Knicks combo of Robin and Q Ball prove to be too much. Captain Cape Crusader leads the way with 18 followed by Q with 15 with 9 of them from the free throw line.
Wednesday finale was similar to the early game with the Spurs really sticking it to the Wearriors who continue their free fall in the standings. Dr Jay leads the way with 19 and then four others with 8 or more......once again only positive note on the Wearriors was Dr. Dunkman with 15 Thursday opener leads us to the much publicized Pine's Revenge battle and did it lead up the the! The Whiney one shows up well behaved for once and totally focused at the task at hand as he rallies his new teammates and they obliterated the Rockets into a pile of dust - final score was by ten but it really was never that has video of the Whiney one dancing on the bar at the Fireside until the wee hours of the morning. The game within a game also had Piney on the winning side of it as he outscores his replacement 15- 11. The Revenge tour was led overall with Diamond Diamante scoring 19 and in the losing cause Big Motor Voder scores 18 but played less defense than Piney if that is even possible - Dave My Hands are Not Stone added a dozen for the battered and bewildered Rockettes.
Wednesday's middle game had the Vodka's sobered up and ready to bounce back from Tuesday's no-show as they show no mercy to the poor old Dawgs who equaled the lowest first half total in the history of the league with 7 - I am awaiting confirmation but believe this is the lowest one half total in Marlboro Basketball history besides a girls 3rd grade rec game in 1982. Grey Goose Gallo leads the way with 18 followed by Curry Cardullo tossing in 15.
In the week 4 finale we had a great game early on but then Greenie showed up and it was downhill from there - Hornets were up 15-9 and then proceeded to lose 59-36! yikes! Wizards mastery was led by Fine Fella Ramella with 19 and Layup Lereah with a solid 16.....Captain Crunch Kreisler leads the way for the stingerless Hornets with 11.
Week 5 game of the week is on Thursday with a very possible preview of the Final with the Spurs battling the Revenge Tour......Good Luck to All this week!

Week 3 News, Notes & A Guinness World Record

04/13/2016 11:42 AM

Apologies for the delay in this week's news and notes, but I have spent the last six days 24/7 confirming the validity of a Guinness World Record from last Thursday...but more on that later. In the week 3 opener it seems that Coach Bubbly Seltzer Zelter's three practices last weekend pay off as they get back in the win column taking advantage of another weary effort from the Warriors. Layup Lereah seems to have finally shaken off the cobwebs from his head injury and goes for 15 to lead the Wizards followed by Adam Effortless Excellence Englander with 12 and Eazy E adding 11 - while Coach Mike was taking all the credit those in the know believe it was no coincidence that Sparkplug Seth made his season debut igniting the team with a career high 6 points. Lone bright spot once again for the Wearyiors was Dr. Dunkman with 17. Wednesday middle game was a great game with an absolutely herculean effort by the Spurs with only five guys(and not their youngest five) but the Cavs do eventually wear them down and win by 7. Cavs were led again by Richard light it up Lee with 16 followed by a very balanced effort with four guys with 6 or more. Spurs valiant effort had everyone scoring and led by Dr. Jay's 17. In the Wednesday nightcap the Pine's Revenge tour is officially in high gear as they take care of business and beat the Thunder by 5 - It was a true team effort as all seven players there scored 7 or more led by Klockner will Knock Ya with 13. The Thunder have now played three games and have used the same game script each time so might be time for a new strategy - they get up early then go to sleep in the middle then mount a great comeback. Thunder were led by James Ballin' Breyburg with 18 and James' Harden's twin Jesse with 17. Thursday's opener had the Rickety Rockets against the up and coming Knicks and it was a fantastic back and forth battle until those wily veterans pull away late to win by 10 and remain the lone unbeaten squad. This one was tied at halftime with Mike Nobody Shoots it Betta Kasetta loving the small court and scoring 18 in the first half! MVP would have to go to the Rockets defense coordinator as they make halftime adjustments and hold him to only 3 in the second hald - Bill Belicheck would be proud. Rockets loved the three ball in this one with Big Motor Voder leading the way with 17 followed by Hail Mary Hilowitz hitting five 3's and Pine's replacement adding 13. Knicks were led by the aforementioned Kaseta with 21 followed by Battering Ram Boris pounding them in down low with 15. Now back to our newly confirmed Guinness World Record holder: Whiney Piney adds to his league leading T's by getting one in the first 18 seconds.....yes 18 seconds. I have checked and have confirmation that this is in fact a World Record inclusive of the NBA, NCAA divisions I, II and III, NBA D-League, all foreign countries' leagues, AAU leagues, Rec Leagues and all playground pickup games. This tactic seemed to have worked and knock the Old Dawgs from focusing on the game as the Revenge Tour scores the exact same amount as the night before(70) and go onto a dominating win. Coach Never Miss Mitch seems to have loved the small court scoring 14 this week and controlling the Whiney one from getting tossed....sorry but no highlights for the Dawgs this week. Week 3 finale was a much closer game than the beat writers expected with the Vodka crew narrowly escaping 52-49. Curry Cardullo leads the way with 19 followed by Anthony " stoli sucks, give me Grey Goose" Gallo with 12 - Lucky Leib goes for 13 in the losing effort. This week's action is highlighted by tonight's 8:30 game of the Vodkas vs. the Knicks and of course the game everyone has circled on their calendar is tomorrow on pay per view - Pine's Revenge tour takes on the team he was unceremoniously jettisoned from in the prime of his career! Good luck to all this week!

Week 2 News, Notes and all new chat room!

04/05/2016 02:37 PM

Hope everyone enjoyed their Spring Break! Chat room is now open and trash talk is very much encouraged! To post on the chat room when on, click on news section and there you will be able to view and then post messages - anyone can view the newsletter and chat room but you must be a registered participant to post anything so it will ask you to create a username and onto the action: I think I spoke too soon on GM of the year balloting as several new recruits had spectacular performances in week 2. In the first game of week two it was the Cavs v Hornets and I know sometimes I say the tale of two halves but this one is the very definition of that - Hornets led at half 31 - 25 and must have gotten stung at halftime as they go on to lose 55 - 44 getting outscored 30 - 13 in the second half. Cavs were led by Richard this is easy Lee and in honor of St. Patrick's Day Macdday Mcaleenan goes off for 18. In a losing effort the only bright spots were off the bald heads of Lucky Leib with 14 and Officer Sharpshooterwith 13 all in the first half....and as usual Sloppy Defense Slofkiss fouls out for the 100th time. Wednesday's middle game was a great one with the Wizards using smoke and mirrors to take a 26-20 halftime advantage but new rookie of the year candidate Mike Dynamite Diamante says enough of that and lights them up with 23 in the second half and 35 overall as Pine's Revenge tour gets in the win column 58-55. Easy E had a chance to tie it at the buzzer but did not have the same magic as Villanova to pull it off, although he did score 26 in a gallant effort. Wednesday's nightcap was billed as the game of the week and it did not disappoint! Knicks seemed to be in complete control early and often as they led by 9 at half and 14 midway through the second half.....but the Spurs without Captain Killer Kowalski mount an incredible comeback and go onto win 55-52. Spurs rally was led by another rookie of the year candidate Dr. J even without the legendary afro scoring 24 in the second half and 29 overall - Knicks were led by their captain Batman's sidekick who put up 24....but we will not mention he didn't realize the score and neglected to take a shot to tie with a few seconds left. Thursday's opener had a fully loaded vodka team emerge and enter the conversation as a legit contender blowing away the Thunder 48-23. Vodka were led by another rookie of the year candidate and current leading vote getter Ken Curry Cardullo with an effortless 25 - this performance has also put Felix the Cat's name in the mix for GM of the year. Thursday's middle game was a very tight back and forth game but the gritty Old Dawgs hold onto their bark this week and prevail over the weary Warriors 59-49. Dawgs were led by a powerful 1-2 combo of John Need a Martini Serini and Brian Hoops Hynes as they combine for 47 of the team's 59 - in the losing cause Dr. Dunkman gives it his all with a solid outing of 24 but needed some more help. In the Thursday finale the Rickety Rockets remain unbeaten as they continue to look at recapturing the title they think should always be theirs - rough week for those Wizards as they lose both of their week 2 contests. Rockets were led by Pine's replacement Off the Schneid with 20 and then a very balanced group of four with 8+, Wizards Captain Bubbly Seltzer Zeltser leads them with 15 and was heard to be organizing multiple practices over the break. Lots of great games on tap this week, and hopefully maybe even a Marvin sighting, so good luck to all!!! Schedules, standings, etc are all up to date on

Week 1 Spring Season 2016

03/21/2016 10:41 AM

We are off and running with week 1 of the Spring Season in the books! Welcome to all the new players and welcome back to all the returning onto the game action:
The season opener had pre-season favorite Spurs take on the newly formed Old Dawgs who lived up their name and had no bark or bite in the second half - Spurs led by only three at half but cruised in the second half to win going away 68 - 50. As usual they were led by Killer Kowalski with 19 followed by "I rest my case with this victory Klein" with 11 in a great team effort with everyone scoring at least one bucket - in the losing cause Dom "I need a martini" Serini goes for 16 and "Ray's brother Jay" Romano scoring 12. In opening night's second game it was a matchup of the Knicks against a combo of ex-Knicks and world champion Bulls.....there seems to be alot of candidates for rookie of the year but after the first week GM of the year is looking clearly like Batman's sidekick Robin as he seems to have recruited some superheroes this offseason in the Mike & Mike show - Mike "I make my opponents Quiver' Quevedo and Mike "nobody shoots it betta" Kaseta. It was a close game throughout but the Knicks do hold on for victory 56-51 led by the aforementioned M & M show combining for 31, the GM tossing in 13 - Big Phil tried to help out some of his old teammates by going 1 for 36 inside the paint. For the Hornets they get some quality scoring from ex -Bulls Officer Sharpshooter and Lucky Leib with 13 apiece and The Grass is always Green(er) with 11. In the Wednesday finale it was clearly the tale of two halves as it was tied at halftime, but The Pine's Revenge Tour gets off to a rough start as they had no subs and run out of gas in the second half and lose by 15. On the bright side I cashed my ticket in Vegas once again betting on Whiney Piney to receive first T of the season, although those odds are the same as death and taxes. Dr Dunkman leads the Warriors with 14 followed by Just Playin scoring 11 and newcomer Power Fowler with 12. Rumor has it that Pine is already on the trading block....
Apologies again to the Thursday night games and the gym permit snafu that had us moved into the blue gym, I have been assured that will not happen again. In the Thursday opener the Rockets blast out to a big win clearly pissed off at their Championship title being taken away last season - Doc Berk and Hail Mary Hilowitz return in mid-season form going for 17 & 14 respectively and "I don't have hands of" Stone a respectable 11, Fans are already complaining to Coach Sly as a Fox that "Can't get off the" Schneid is the most overpriced free agent in league history. Coach Boris could be seen yelling at his team to stay off the Stoli until after games from now on. In what was the game of the week the Wizards somehow manage to magically roll past the Thunder by one, 37-36. With an all new roster the Thunder took a little while to get to know each other and gel but once they did starting looking like a team to be reckoned with - led by James Harden's long lost twin Jesse with a 20 spot and James Big Time Breyburg adding 9. On the winning side GM Zeltser is currently second in the balloting with his ace recruit Jeff "I will crush you but I'm really a fine fella" Ramella going off in his debut with 20, pretty good balance after that with everyone else scoring between 2 -7. In the week one finale the Knicks have already equaled last season's win total of two as they beat the "I can't hit the side of a barn door tonight" Cavs 48 - 37. Q Ball without his other half of the Mike & Mike show lights it up with 20 and GM of the year frontrunner with a shooting exhibition of threes hitting five of them and 18 total. Week two slate is highlighted by what could be a prelude to the final with the Knicks and Spurs squaring off on Wednesday at 9:30.....good luck to all this week!

Knicks 2 - 0
Spurs 1 - 0
Warriors 1 - 0
Rockets 1 - 0
Wizards 1 - 0
Old Dawgs 0 - 1
Hornets 0 - 1
Pine's Revenge 0 - 1
Russian Vodka 0 - 1
Thunder 0 - 1
Cavs 0 - 1

Chat room is still under construction so store up your trash talk for next week!
Also, Please double check your team's schedule for the last three weeks as there was an error and I had to move some games around...